Thursday, October 23, 2008

Karaoke, Dolly Parton, & adult diapers

We've all heard of it, Karaoke. Huh... What is it you ask? For the dummies who asked that question, I'll enlighten you before you risk your life! Karaoke is a music entertainment system providing prerecorded accompaniment to so-so songs that people sing live, following the words on a video screen, while the stage engulfs you as it implodes. That's what happened to me when I started to sing the Dolly Parton song "9 to 5", which might explain why Dolly is strap with safety wires when she performs. Don't believe me? The next time you see her in concert, notice how she bounces on stage. Not her breasts!

Karaoke suppose to be great entertainment, when in truth, it's a death trap! You go up on stage not worrying what you sound like, about to sing your heart out, but instead you scream your lungs out falling, like if you saw your grandma walking around naked, which I don't wish on anyone. When I saw her naked as a kid, not only did I scream, I lost control of my urine, but not when I fell through that stage since she wasn't around.

Karaoke. Don't do it! But if you have no choice, make sure you go to the bathroom before. If your interested, The Depend company makes a line of products for adults who can't hold their urine, like absorbency pads for women and men with both genitalia, or adult diapers for the ones who have never been trained all their life since their mom fell through a stage.

It's a cruel world out there, so don't die wet! No one is going to change you at a Karaoke bar before you go to the morgue. I know I wont!


  1. I hear Japanese invented the karaoke when they failed in WW2!!

  2. I'd love to see a video clip of you singing 9 to 5 (all the way through!). :)

    I love Karaoke...I'd do it 9-5 if I could!

  3. Ankesh, so you're saying it's Sony's fault?

    Scarlet, after that experience, I'll never sing a song dealing with mathamatics again!

    I bet you're strapped with safety wires doing Karaoke, aren't ya?

  4. Dolly sings live, not Karaoke. LOL!

  5. I see you visited my blog, I don't know how you found me but I thought I come and visit you! Great writing, your quite funny. I never did have the courage to sing karaoke, always thought if I drank enough I might be brave enough to try it! Since I can't drink much, I would thro up before the bravery would hit me!

  6. So your blog is awesome. Please post again. I survived boredom in high school by reading some of your essays like "Coming in Like el nino!"

    I'm so glad a friend who is a common fan of your writing sent me the link. :)

  7. Thanks anonymous! I'll try to write more for your enlightenment, to transcend your desire and suffering to attain Nirvana, and I don't mean the rock band.